I Give You...

The absurd, the genius, and the hilarious... Albert Einstein:

"Two things are infinite: the Universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the former."

"The world is a dangerous place. Not because of the people who are evil; but because of the people who don't do anything about it."  

"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious."

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity." 

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere."  

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." 

"There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; or you can live as if everything is a miracle."

"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions."

"He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed."

"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible."

"The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax." 

"Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them."

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science."

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."

"True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness."

And finally, the quote that I think will become my first tattoo:

"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." 

Interesting side note, no one on fyeahtattoos.com has an Albert Einstein tattoo. You'd think he'd be up there with birds, roses, and pictures of people's mothers, but I guess people lean toward other great physicists first.

The Incompetent teaching the Complacent. ...a.k.a. Talent-Envy

Epic.
Beautiful.
Outstanding.
Amazing.
I wish I had more adjectives to describe how incredible that is.

Now someone tell me why people with this much talent make things that don't make sense.

Yes, the artist has a statement about the project, and the statement makes sense, but someone who can make this can make anything in video.
Create anything.
And all I've done is watch something aesthetically pleasing.
Mindblowing-ly pleasing, but it's still just aesthetics.

You, artist, can create worlds.
You can defy the laws of physics.
And you can capture my heart and mind for several minutes.

You can force me to view the world through any lens.

So show me something.
Take me somewhere.
Teach me.Scare me. 
Guide me.
Grow me.
Empower me.
Hurt me.
Broaden me.Fill me with joy.  
Leave a scar.
Show me how to fly.
Just do something worth remembering.

Don't get me wrong, I understand creating beauty for beauty's sake.
But you have the power to change people.
To change the world.
Why stop at just creating beauty, when that beauty can bring hope to a beaten and bloody world?

When Humans were Exhibits

A very interesting art exhibition in Paris.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16295827

Makes me almost want to go visit Paris myself to see the exhibit. And that's saying a lot coming from me. ;)

My Christmas:

Between stuffing my face until I almost exploded and beating a bunch of cheating Arabs at Uno, I had a fantastic Christmas weekend. The highlight of it all, however, was this sentence:

"Oooh, I really need to belch. Is that allowed where you're from or would you have to cut something off after I burped?"

Which would be really funny if it was meant to be sarcastic... but it wasn't. Which made it even more hilarious. Hope your holiday was as good as mine!

Google, um...

...wow...
Way to blow my mind there.

Thanks for being an awesome year, 2011.

Christmas Adam!!

Christmas Adam? ... the day before Christmas Eve? ... *crickets*... Anyone?

Well I suppose it's about time I make a Christmas week post about Christmas, isn't it?
And what better than a British Priest rapping the Nativity story?

Word to your Blessed Mother.  

Since my church is having service this Christmas Sunday, I feel our Pastor should open the service by performing this rap, do a mic drop like Eminem from 8 Mile, and end the service there.
I would definitely skip family and presents time to see that.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas, Day 4!!

On this 4th day of Christmas celebrations, I bring to you some Christian's who love Sarcasm.

Truly, this is a rare find, because Sarcasm is a bit of a dirty word among some Christians. Plenty of people say that Sarcasm hurts and divides people, it doesn't do anything to edify others, and it's not how Christ would have talked or acted. Some will go so far as to say that Sarcasm is a sin or the language of the devil, so they avoid it like the plague. However I see Sarcasm more as a tool instead of an end, like the Internet. The Internet can be used to cause sin, or it can be used to bring hope and life. So can Sarcasm. It can cause us to be critical of ourselves and what we are comfortable with, and cause us to better ourselves.

Which makes me wonder why I didn't explain this on day one, seeing as there's no way in the world you've made it this far through my blog if you don't enjoy some sarcasm.

Moving on, here's 2 Christians who crack me up:

1st, Jon Acuff. He's the author of the book Stuff Christians Like and a well accomplished blogger. I've quoted him before and I talk about him quite a bit, but here's a chance for you to see what he's like and understand why he uses Sarcasm so much.

2nd, Cuyler Black. He's the creator of Inherit The Mirth comics, which are funny and punny comics about spiritual things. He has a blog on his site that he updates every couple of weeks, and here's a sample:

Teen Fangst

According to many love songs I have heard, there are men out there who will go to extraordinary lengths to prove themselves to the object of their affection: cross the widest sea, climb the highest mountain, fight off hordes of rival suitors… but few display the sacrificial spirit, the courage and the commitment that I showed several days ago when I chose to make my wife happy by accompanying her to see The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1. Write a song about that level of devotion, Josh Groban.

Addressing, for a moment, my male readers only, I want you guys to know that I am on your side– the side that would not, if romantically unattached, volunteer to support the filmmaking phenomenon that is the Twilight series, on the grounds that it is, by almost all critical appraisals, cinematic torture unless you are a teenage girl. So while we men, if being selfish, would rather stand naked at the North Pole and shave our chests with cheese graters than attend this movie, we recognize that the teenage girl that is alive and well inside our adult wife or girlfriend must be appeased from time to time or else she will not return the favor and go with us to see Robot Apes vs. Scantily-Clad Vixen Commando Babes, or some other such Oscar contender we hope will someday get made. I guess that’s still being selfish, but she might not catch on.

And so it was that last Saturday I further deepened Lisa’s love and admiration for me with the mere purchase of a couple of matinee tickets and a $79 bag of medium-size popcorn. She was so happy that she didn’t even mind I kept calling the movie Breaking Wind. “Look,” she admitted, “These films are terrible, but there’s something about Robert Pattinson. He’s so sexy.” For those of you living lives of significance, and who are therefore unaware of this heartthrob, Robert Pattinson is the romantic lead, a young actor with the emotive skills of an ironing board.

“I don’t get it,” I said. “He’s pale, thin, and bland. You must also find Communion wafers sexy.”

“Shush.”

Going into it, I didn’t know much about the Twilight series except that it’s about a teenage girl who falls in love with a vampire. From the movie I learned that this vampire hangs around with a small group of other vampires who are nothing like the old Hollywood monsters. These ones are all ridiculously good-looking, shop at Banana Republic, and are vegetarian. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing scary about watching a vampire sink its fangs into the neck of a butternut squash.

So it seems the girl is safe with this bunch, but then she marries Communion Wafer and gets pregnant on the honeymoon. There’s some mumbo-jumbo about how the baby, which is supernaturally growing in her womb even faster than the public relations budget at Penn State, will be born a demon and must be destroyed; in the meantime, it’s sucking the life out of the young mom, which I thought was a brilliant metaphor for what watching the movie does to the viewer.

There’s also some subplot involving werewolves who don’t get along with the vampires. The two factions seem to fight in the woods a lot, leading me to pose the question, “If a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one there worth caring about, why can’t it crush them all and end this film before I poke out my eyes with my car key?”

Anyway, if there’s a redeeming subtext underlying the whole series, it might be that deep down every girl wants a guy who will be passionate about her forever, who will be faithful and trustworthy and self-sacrificing, and ultimately there’s only one man who can perfectly do that. Jesus’ love is forever. It’s complete and it’s life-giving, on through eternity. Maybe some Twi-hards, as they’re called, will find themselves searching for their place in that more profound and true story of love and blood and mystery.

Breaking Dawn may be two hours of my life that I’ll never get back… but, thank God and his Son, I’ve got forever to look forward to, so I shouldn’t complain about that.

Not when I can complain about the price of movie theatre popcorn. Talk about bloodsuckers.

Peace, joy & laughter,

Cuyler



Merry Christmas!!

Christmas, the Third!!!

During this most lovely time of year, I bring you something not so ... child friendly.
I present to you the Real Men Swear blog. A collection of odd male model poses that are turned ridiculously manly through swearing and thought bubbles.

Now, being a Christian, I should probably clarify my position on swearing. I understand that it's offensive to some, so I tend to avoid using those words as much as possible, but I personally see nothing wrong with them. I see no difference between the "F-word" and "sex" and between the "S-word" and "poop", besides sounding like a 5 year old. And maybe this is because I use those words far too often in my own head. Maybe it's a good thing I'm still a work in progress.

So for those who might be offended, I decided to censor the few pictures I'm reposting. If you'd like to see them in full context, click on the link above. Either way, I hope they are hilarious. Enjoy!

Legend tells of a Legendary Warrior whose Leadership skills were the stuff of Legend!!!

Who else could I be talking about besides North Korea's "Dear Leader" himself, Kim Jong-il? After all, the man was the world's best golfer, sparked a fashion phenomenon, and didn't defecate, how could you not admire him?
How could you not weep hysterically when the inventor of hamburgers dies? (Skip to 0:18)

Please tell me you didn't watch more than 30 seconds of that. There's potential to cause permanent damage that way. I feel bad for not warning you up front to turn it off quickly, but I couldn't sacrifice that great lead into it.

You can read those and more interesting "facts" from The Sun, but I'd rather focus on what some have called the best piece of literature written in the entire universe: his autobiographical obituary.

On The 2nd Day of Christmas...

... I give you this hilarious Radio commercial:

Merry Christmas!!
And as a parting gift, here's a sample of what my pastors tweet at my church:

Christmas Week!!

It's Christmas time friends, and I'm feeling the need to hand out presents. Granted, due to my present situation there's not much for me to give physically (in all senses of that phrase), but why not have a week full of goodies to hand out to faithful blog readers?
...What's that? You're not that interested?
Well, way to suck the Christmas spirit out of the room. The Christmas spirit that has been fighting to break in here all of December through our 75º Florida weather has just been crushed by your negative attitude. Poor little guy barely had a chance.
...Still not interested? Even after that pathetic attempt at guilt tripping you into reading more of my posts? ..Tough crowd.
Eh, it's more for me than you anyway, so it's happening whether you like it or not.

Starting off, what's better than holiday-themed Awkward Family Photos?
I'll tell you what: Holiday-themed Awkward Family Photos with British Captions!

Reddit Love

I've somewhat recently rediscovered a website called Reddit.
And I think I'm in love.

It's tag line calls itself the Front Page of the Internet, and for good reason.
Where else can you learn that Hitler wasn't that bad of a guy...


... that Abraham Lincoln was possibly a Vampire Slayer...

... that in Columbia, there was once a town mayor who mooned a university student assembly, showered on live television, and dressed as a superhero to clean up the streets. And all those things worked.

And he almost became President!!

... and I get the latest updates on the SOPA hearings. While I do have to spend about half my time pushing through jokes like these, this place has a wonderful way of distracting me from life. So thanks Internetz, you're rocking my socks these days.

Yet Adversity...

"In 1943, two hundred and thirty women were arrested as members of the French Resistance and sent to Birkenau. Only 49 survived, but this in itself is remarkable. These women were as diverse a group as could be imagined. They were Jews and Christians, aristocrats and working class, young and old. Yet they were united by their commitment to the French Resistance and to one another.(1) In her book A Train in Winter, Caroline Moorhead reconstructs the story of these women through the journals and memoirs of survivors. Noting the mutual dependence that made the difference between living and dying, Moorhead highlights how the solidarity of these women to one another and to their mutual survival sustained them through unspeakable horror and torture.   

In many accounts of Holocaust survivors, the hellish conditions of extreme deprivation and torture drove many to hoard whatever meager resources they could save for themselves. And how could they be blamed? Survival became the only goal—no matter what the cost, even to others. Yet, in most of the cases with these French women in Birkenau, their solidarity toward each other trumped the selfishness that engulfed so many others. As Moorhead writes, "Knowing that the fate of each depended on the others...egotism seemed to vanish and that, stripped back to the bare edge of survival, each rose to behavior few would have believed themselves capable of."(2) Moorhead recounts that when unrelieved thirst threatened to engulf one of their members in utter madness, the women pooled together their own meager rations to get her a whole bucket of water.  

Altruism of this magnitude is seldom seen. Putting one's own needs first is as natural as breathing, and just as unconscious. Yet adversity sometimes coaxes out the best and the most beautiful in human beings."

Sorry for just diving into that depressing start, but sometimes things like that last line need to be shared. 

"Yet adversity sometimes coaxes out the best and the most beautiful in human beings."

Sometimes I get small glimpses as to why God would think humans are worth saving. 
And it really makes me love people.

Makes Me Laugh. Every. Time.

Because I somehow forgot to post about this when I found it.

Such brilliance can't be forgotten about, it needs to be immortalized online as much as possible.

Flying

This guy is making his dreams come true.
He's making the dreams of thousands of others vicariously come true.
It's times like this that I wonder what I'm doing with my life.
That maybe it could be better spent elsewhere.
Fulfilling dreams.

Now that's...

Some quality Christmas decorations right there:

Click to Enlarge

For some context, check here and here.

Gotta love Calvin and Hobbes.

Thoughts?

For those missing context,
this is a rebuttal to the We Are The 99% stories in support of Occupy Wall Street.