5K Training Begins...

There's a 5K coming up around here in March. And, in case you didn't know, I am a terrible runner.

"What would make you want to run this race then?", you ask? Well, Blog World, here's my motivation:

A friend of mine runs this race every year. This past year he turned 30. Now perhaps it's the thought that he's no longer in his prime so I have a chance of winning; or maybe it's that, even though I got to tease him quite a bit on his birthday, I can still make him feel just a teeny bit older by passing him in the race; whatever the reason, I really, really want to beat him. And while I've never actually run a race before, I do play soccer on occasion, so hopefully I'll at least avoid my biggest fear of complete embarrassment by coming in dead last. So for this coming year I've decided to run.

And since my announcing this to people caused a response of complete doubt barely disguised in the form of a question, I've also decided training should start sooner than later. 

A while ago I discovered that my work is a little over 3 miles away from my house, which is a rough equivalent to a 5K. To find out what I'm working with, today I ran home from work. My friend's time in the race last year was over 27 minutes.
Considering I had on:
- a super tight shirt (which isn't sexy when I'm breathing like a 60+ year chain smoker)
- tight jeans (notice I didn't say "super tight", because I'm not a skater, in a band, or female)
- soggy shoes (welcome to the hazards of screen printing)
I'd say my time of 32 minutes wasn't a bad start.

But now the hard part begins: watching what I eat. You can't hear it, but my stomach is already grumbling in mutiny. 

Fooood!!!

Not many people know this, but I'm on a small personal adventure to broaden my food pallet.

I didn't start this because I'm particularly close-minded when it comes to food, but I realized one day that no matter what restaurant I'm in, I tend to order the same foods:
I avoid vegetables and almost always look for chicken.
I proudly ask for my steaks to be cooked to "almost shoe leather".
I'm barely aware there's different types of fish besides what Long John Silvers serves.
And if there's only items on the menu I don't know or can't pronounce, I look to the kids menu.
In truth, I eat like a 5 year old.

So I'm trying to change that. I'd say I've been pretty successful so far, since I can tolerate mushrooms now and I almost love coffee now. Thats why with this bit of success, I decided this past weekend to take a leap of faith: I went to a Trinidadian Roti Shop for the first time and sampled a whole new style of food. Prepare to drool.

Pholourie (pronounced poo-lore-ie) + Tamarind Sauce = Deep fried batter that is dipped in a sweet sauce. Awesome appetizer.

Shrimp Wontons. Served with Soy sauce, but definitely did not need it. I could eat these all day. 

And this is thing that's the size of my head is the signature dish of the shop: Roti. Imagine a Moe's burrito, but triple it's size. 2 people can't shouldn't eat one these in one sitting. Take a look inside this thing.

We have potatoes, lots of gooey-ness and spices, and your choice of meat: either chicken, pork, goat, or conk (seafood). This lovely little guy is Conk Roti. Which gave it this sort of sweetness, and therefore, delicious.

As a small detour from the food adventure, I have to point out how awesome this little shop was. The place is built to have conversations with people you don't know, the owner was fantastic, and what sold it for me, this incredible wall:

Yes, those signs are hilarious, but what stands out are all the bills. Here's a little closer:

There are bills on this wall from all over the world. Some well preserved and some well travelled. There were some from Australia:

To Malaysia:

And even to Iraq:

Not only am I blown away by the incredible diversity of the different types of currency, but the assortment of people that has come through one small shop in Tampa, Florida. Which made me wonder about all the different conversations that have happened there, all the different people that have been through here, and that all of these awesome people shared in some awesome food. Gotta love our planet.

Finally, this last bit of food adventure happened today at lunch. Since I'm also trying to conquer some of the mundane foods that I'm not a big fan of, I branched out today and had some Indian food I normally avoid: Tofu.

Turns out its not so bad. Just bland. But at least I won't be avoiding it anymore. 

The New Facebook

Facebook held a conference this past Thursday and revealed plenty of new features. Some are nice, like the new music app which will let you listen live to the same songs your friends are listening to. And some are not so nice, like the new layout for your profile called Timeline.

Facebook is going to ask you to upload baby pictures so they can create a map of your life. This map will match status updates that you posted at specific times to pictures or videos from that time, making your life easy to track from birth till present day. This writer hit the nail on the head, 

"On one level, it's brilliant. On the other, it's undeniably, pervasively creepy. 

[...] 

What worries me is the trend of radical transparency and social context, where it’s expected that everyone will share their lives unless they’ve got something to hide. ... Radically transparent interfaces are designed in a way that leads to a kind of peer pressure for disclosure: everyone else is sharing information about A, B and C, so why are you being so evasive?"

In a way, I think the life of online anonymity we enjoy now is almost over. Granted we don't have to use Facebook, but this is the start of something new. However, I can think of one positive about all this: we will finally get to see all the embarrassing high school photos our friends have been hiding from us. ;) 

That's it, I'm moving to Kentucky.

For 1 reason only: Highest Zombie Apocalypse survival rate.

For full map, click here.

You might call me crazy, but when you know something is inevitable, it just makes the most sense to be ready for it. This map breaks states down based on several factors to determine the highest rate of survival per person. So while you might think Hawaii would be great because it's an island and isolated, the frequent number of flights in and out and the lack of available weapons lower your chances of survival greatly.

See? It's important to think these things through. Even the Center of Disease Control put out their Zombie survival guide in case of an outbreak. While their article goes into ways to prepare, I figure there's bound to be people finding this post well after the zombies have invaded, so you're just looking for survival tips and what you can do now. Allow me to assist: 

1. Unless you're dealing with some weird form of I Am Legend zombies, most zombies are rather unintelligent. Assume they have the mental capacity of a 3 year old, so it's possible to distract them with bright lights or ventriloquism. 

2. Perfecting your zombie imitation might allow you to hide among them or simply walk right by them. (See Shaun of the Dead) 

3. In Cuba apparently it's not a bad idea to try to capitalize off the situation. (See Juan of the Dead) 

4. While I haven't seen this movie, it still sounds like good advice: Double tap. 

Hopefully that helps our friends in the future. And hopefully the people of New York will get their act together before it's too late.

Oh Boy...

Growing up, I never had a pet.

I've always wanted one, especially a puppy. But my mom was not only allergic to puppies, but literally every type of pet out there. She's actually allergic to just about everything: flowers, grass, the Sun, taking baby pictures of her 2nd son, etc. So instead of a pet, I grew up playing with my Tamagotchi and counted myself lucky that cleaning up poop on the carpet only took 2 clicks of a button. 

But that's all about to change.

Say hello to John Paul Jones.
After a few weeks, this guy will be family.
I hope he knows what he's getting into here.

More "Separate" and "Necessary"

Normally if I address a topic on here, I would like to avoid posting about that same topic for a while, just to keep things interesting. But this story came out today, and I can't not address it:

A couple in West Palm Beach, Florida sued a doctor and an ultrasound technician because they believed the doctor should have known their child would be born with no arms, and that if they knew he wouldn't have arms, they would have aborted him. And they won.

Imagine, this child will grow into a 14 year old freshman in high school whose parents will tell him that they "would have aborted him if they had known what his conditions would be". Instead of giving this teenager hope, of building him up when his confidence is the lowest and showing him that he can lead a completely fulfilling life; he will be told that it's better to die than to be him. That his parents wish they would have killed him. And flip it around, the judge and jury agree with this. The world around him is telling him it's better to have been aborted than to live how he will live. They are calling this a case of "wrongful birth", as in he's not just an accident: that he's a mistake, that he shouldn't exist.

It's times like this when we see the world as it naturally is.

I pray that someone, somewhere gets to share with him that he is not "less" of a person than everyone else. That he is not flawed. Or broken. Or incomplete. But rather that he's "Necessary" in God's eyes. Essential. Needed. And designed with a purpose. 

"Separate" and "Necessary"

A few phrases have stuck with me this past week. See if you can see a theme here:

"You play no small part, because there is no small part to be played. 'All of you together are Christ's body, and each one of you is a separate and necessary part of it.' (1 Cor. 12:27). 'Separate' and 'necessary'. Unique and essential. The Author of the human drama entrusted your part to you alone."  

- Max Lucado, Cure for the Common Life

"The work of art which I do not make, none other will ever make it." 

- Simone Weil, French philosopher

"Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I. I have to contribute my potential to life; you have to contribute your potential to life. I have to discover my own being; you have to discover your own being." 

- Osho, Philosopher and religious leader

Just like what started for me last week, my self esteem is being centered little by little around this idea that I am incomparable. Wholly different. Despite how similar I appear to other people, or even if people are better than me at the things I love doing, my use of those skills is wholly different than anyone else's. It is unique and essential. And designed with a purpose.

The more I rest in that idea, the more comforted I am by who my God is. Just how unique and essential he is. 

But then I read things like this story:

You can read the full article here, but the main point is in the opening paragraph. 

China stopped their version of American Idol because voting for the winner was too close to Democracy. Which at first made me smirk a little (I'm not sure why, maybe because the idea of a Chinese American Idol brought to mind Rush Hour 2), but then it reminded me of why I disagree with Communism so much. Just from those quotes I mentioned earlier, people not only from America, but from France, India, and the world over realize how important the individual is. How each individual has to figure out on their own who they are and what their unique and essential purpose is in this world. And yet Socialism and Communism's purpose is to structure society in a way that the people in charge feel is best. Even if they put square pegs in round holes, the small group at the top decides how each individual will live their life and what their purpose should be. It goes against what we all know in our hearts to be true.

Maybe I should be leading a revolution in China or something... and "Super Girl" could be our rallying cry...

Video Art

I love video art.
Well, let me rephrase.
I love well done video art.
Love it.
Allow me to explain:

Do I have any idea what's going on here? Nope.
Do I have any idea what the final painting means? Nope.
Do I even like the final painting? Ehh.

So for me, that was just visually stunning. Absolutely stunning.
And I want to be that guy good. But not just to be good.
I mean, what's the point of all that if you don't have something worth saying?
That's why Rob Bell's Nooma videos work so well. There's content.
Then, on rare occasions, visually stunning meets fantastic content.

And that's what I love.

Attack Watch

Tuesday night, the Obama campaign released a new website they call Attack Watch. Now what does such an intimidatingly named website do exactly? I'll quote from their website:

"The smears didn't end with the 2008 campaign. President Obama's opponents are still using false claims against him and his record in an attempt to derail our momentum.  

But we can't do it alone. We need your help..."

And by "your help" they mean they want you to report people or news articles for saying bad things about President Obama or his policies. Which I going to go out on a limb and say that makes most people a little uneasy. Especially if they've read books like 1984 or Fahrenheit 451. And I've got to be honest, the look of their website isn't really helping: 

I like the red-on-black motif you've got going there. Very Stalin-esque.

Luckily, however, we live in America, where things like this don't go by without a bit of sarcastic tongue-lashing. Since Attack Watch allows you to report things through Twitter, people have been having quite a bit of fun "reporting" all sorts of things:

Enjoy some more entertainment here. With the Washington Post already calling it a laughing stock, it will be interesting to see if Obama can turn this around. 

Some Funny Bits...

Over the weekend I ended up with plenty of time to surf the web. Figured I'd pass along some goodies :)


1st, the perfect news report on... how to report the news.
Gotta love the Brits :)



2nd, The Anti-joke. We've all seen these before, where you expect a punchline but are short changed. Here's an example:
"A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt."
or 
"How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You set an alarm for a reasonable hour."

And there's a site dedicated to them. It's a wonderful thing.



And lastly, my favorite, Groucho Marx quotes. 

"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."

"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

"I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it."

"I didn’t like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions – the curtain was up."

"I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read."

Gotta love it. Now I've got to mention that I'm a fan of internet memes as well, so you can probably expect a handful of those in the near future.

... and some Serious Bits.

It's a crazy feeling to think you know what you're going to do for the rest of your life.

In church this past Sunday we've started a study around Max Lucado's book, "The Cure for the Common Life". I've gotta say, just 3 chapters in and my mind is blown. But not really from Max's own words. The point of the book is for each of us to find out what makes us unique, and to change our lives so that we focus on that uniqueness. But not in the typical "you're a snowflake, and special because no one else is like you" sort of sense, where you feel like you're unique simply because you're a crappy snowflake. Instead of being unique based on your skill set, it challenges us to find how we are unique by the things we have passion for, the things that we're really proud of, the things that we feel accomplished doing. And once we find that, changing our lives so that instead of doing a job just to make money, we live our lives chasing the things that are true passions for us.

Which sounds pretty sweet, right? I mean, I'd love to be the guy whose always smiling and annoying to his coworkers because he loves his job so much. The trouble for me was figuring out where to start. See, I enjoy plenty of things: graphic design, sports, acting, all things technological, being sarcastic, meeting new people, and plenty more. And none of these stand out above the others, at least not in the "this is the reason I was created" sort of way.

Then, before the end of the third chapter, the book said something that clicked big for me. It told us to look for "the things that we always seem to end up coming back to". They said we can start by looking for the recurring themes in our lives. As I thought back through the seasons of my life to see what consistently made me happy, I realized that I really enjoy fielding questions about God from curious skeptics. I enjoyed debating in the middle of CVS with a Jehovah's Witness. What it boils down to is that I really enjoy logically understanding our faith. Using the tools God gave us in reasoning and philosophy to chase Truth, complete and honest Truth. And in chasing Truth, not only grow closer to Him by understanding him more, but being able to show others that you can be an intelligent person and believe in our God too.

So in that spirit, I've started this:

Forgive the messy desk. That's what happens when I'm not in school, it doesn't get used.

It's a timeline to help me keep track of the events of the early church. So I'll be able to keep track of when the Bible was put together or when the Temple was destroyed. When Rome went from persecuting Christians to making it the state religion. When leaders throughout history started developing their doctrines and when the church lost it's way and needed revival or Reformation. I want to understand these things more, and eventually be able to defend these truths to intelligent skeptics. Then I want to help other people understand it better, through creative outlets like video, graphics or dramas. I feel like that might be my purpose. And just saying those words make me smile.

Now to those who might worry that seeking after Truth like this might cause me to stumble in the same way that several kids leaving their youth group for college do, let me reassure you of a few things. 1st, even when I've had my doubts of God in the past, whenever I've felt a disagreement arise between my reasoning of how God should be and what I see him doing, I do still understand that "his ways are higher than my ways", that there's the possibility that I might not know everything there is to know about everything just yet. 2nd, I understand some of the dangers of pursuing logic as my means of understanding God:

"Poets do not go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom. I am not, as will be seen, in any sense attacking logic: I only say that this danger does lie in logic, not in imagination.  ... The Poet only asks to get his head in the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens in his head. And it is his head that splits."     - G.K. Chesterton

And to pursue God without imagination, without art, without realizing we are spiritual and emotional in nature, will lead me down a path I simply do not want to go.

Now any help with the timeline would be greatly appreciated, whether by books or authors or even just mentioning events or philosophies worth looking up. I want to eventually make timelines that are information-heavy, but concise and useable by plenty of people. Perhaps making short videos that people can use to train teachers in the church, so that even average laymen can better understand why they believe what they believe. Like I said, this is a life's purpose, so that's a long ways away. But I'm really excited about it.

Jon Acuff, you are my hero.

Hello Friends!!

While I mentioned a lot of different things I would post on here in my first post, there's something I didn't mention: that I am a fan of re-posting. This post came from the ridiculously brilliant Jon Acuff from his website stuffchristianslike.com. This is the full post on the website, but I've followed proper re-posting etiquette and copied-and-pasted the whole piece below:


Things I Shouldn't Know Exist.

The other day I was on the verge of sending out a tweet when I hit pause. Not literally pause. I don’t have the iPhone 5 beta version that they gave out to a select group of bloggers/breakdancers/Newsies aficionados that is equipped with the new pause button every one is hyped about. I hit pause in my head.

What did the tweet I was concerned about say?

“Louis CK is having Dane Cook on his show Louie this week? Wow. Well played FX!”

No big deal, right? Wrong.

I’m pretty sure that as a Christian I shouldn’t even know Louis CK exists. Or Dane Cook. Or the FX network for that matter. I was 0 for 3 in that tweet on things I shouldn’t know exist. Or TISKE, as in “TISKE, TISKE, look what you’re doing!”

What’s a TISKE?

Those are the pop culture curiosities (music, movies, TV shows, people, etc.) that are so clearly “of” the world that you can’t even pretend that you must engage with them so as to appear “in” the world.

I’m not talking about Harry Potter.

Or the TBS edited version of Sex & the City.

Or even the song “Baby, Baby” by Amy Grant, which has her dancing with a guy in the video (Breaking the 11th commandment or “Footloose commandment” about dancing.)

I’m talking about those things that are so far out there that not only should you not be participating in them, you shouldn’t even be aware they exist.

“The girl with the dragon tattoo? Is that a friend of yours who you go to church with? Somebody in the single’s department, I’m assuming? Ohhh. It’s a book? You don’t say. I haven’t read that. Actually, I’ve never heard of it. I didn’t even know that existed.”

In case you’re finding this puzzling, allow me to give you a few other examples of things you’re not even supposed to know exist.

1. The Show It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

2. The music of GirlTalk

3. Tosh.0

4. 92% of the shows on the E channel.

5. Lil’ Wayne’s entire catalog

6. The other two books written by Stieg Larsson.

7. Gawker, Perez Hilton and 42% of The Onion.

Never heard of any of those things? Great. You’re doing pretty good. Currently enjoying all 7 of them? Oh boy.

But here are the two problems I see with us Christians having a secret list of things we enjoy but pretend we don’t even know exist.

1. You end up being two different people.
There’s the person you really are and then the person you pretend to be around other Christians. Nothing good ever comes from dividing yourself into two different people. Finding Louis CK secretly brilliant and then not wanting to tweet about him is a classic example of creating an “offline me” and an “online me.” That is some nonsense right there.

2. Things get fuzzy.
At what point do we honestly discuss this stuff and challenge each other about the pop culture we’re all digesting? I’m talking no Jesus Jukes, no attacks, no constantly quoting the verse where Paul says everything is permissible, no lying about things you secretly enjoy but don’t tell anyone about. Nothing changes if we keep hiding. Nobody grows. Nobody really gets to be in community if we keep faking it.

Those are my two concerns. And by “community,” I mean the word we Christians love, not the television show on NBC starring Joel McHale. That one is on the border. Parks & Recreation? Ron Swanson’s crazy ex-wife? I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Are you saying you like to go to the park and are friends with the heir to the Swanson frozen food empire and his ex-wife?

Question:What’s one way we can be more honest as Christians?

Superheroes!! ... of sorts

Hello Friends!!

I did a lot of reading this past weekend. Normally that phrase merits congratulations for being studious or intelligent, but this time I was just wasting my time with a bunch of useless articles online. While this made me feel guilty for being the literal definition of unproductive, it turns out quite beneficial for you. Between my useless reading and a conversation with a friend, I've created a list of quite possibly the worst superheroes throughout history. Let's start with...

Arm Fall Off Boy!!

Yes friends, you read me right, Arm Fall Off Boy. Where his superpower is... his arm falling off. Let's see it in action:

I mean, whose not intimidated by a loud "Plorp"?

Sadly, that little bit you see there is almost all there is of Arm Fall Off Boy. He was trying out for a DC comics superhero team, showed them his power, and was turned away for... well, for a lack of anything useful. He shows up 2 more times in comics, only in quick cameos under different names, still trying to get onto superhero teams but never quite able too. It's adorable actually.

Now to the more grotesque:

The Dogwelder!!

One might think with a name like "Dogwelder" that this guy has some sort of clever wordplay with his name. But one would be thinking wrong, this superhero's power is... welding dogs to people's faces. 

It's always important to remove the victim's hat first.

I have no clue on backstory for this guy, and I'm not sure I want to know what would drive a man to weld (hopefully) dead dogs to villain's faces. Nor am I sure how he gets villains to sit long enough to do this to them. Nor am I sure this guy should actually be called a hero. 

Moving on...

Starfox!!

No, not the old video games that you might have played growing up, this a different breed of Starfox. One with an... interesting power. He's an alien of sorts who has the power to... turn people on.

I know, I know. Besides the tights, it's like you're looking at a politician.

Which is just awkward in general. There is a reason I wanted to include him here though: the irony of what ended up defeating this hero. While one typically expects superheroes to be beaten by super villians, this hero was taken down by nothing less than a super... sexual harassment lawsuit. Turns out that even in the comic book world, too many "that's what she said" jokes will end up getting you and Todd Packer in serious trouble with corporate. 

And last but certainly not least...

Big Bertha!!

Big Bertha. Doesn't sound too bad at first, does it? I mean, let's look at her picture:

Granted, her hair could use some work.

Sounds like a female version of the Blob or the Hulk or something, doesn't it? Which I'm for, no need to be sexist, woman can be big heroes too. Until we discover her true identity. See, Big Bertha here is actually Ashley Crawford, a super model in her alter ego. But... something doesn't add up with the picture, does it? Until we learn that Big Bertha's power is to instantly grow fat on her body, allowing her to become as big as she needs to be. Not only that, she can shift the fat around on her body, allowing herself to put only fat in places that would... well, allow her to win beauty contests easily. Now yes, that's bad, but it gets worse: She only has one way to lose the weight. By throwing up. Yes, a bulimic super model is a Marvel hero. She wasn't just a one shot wonder either, she leads a team of heroes and is still active today. And still, no one has thought this might be a bad idea. Gotta love it. 

If you know of worse heroes or villains, either in lameness or in moral depravity, let me know in the comments!

First Post!

Hello Friends!!

If you've found this blog, then you probably know me in some way. Since that's the case, you will learn that this blog will be just like me:

Add explosions and you've just walked into my world.

Sometimes the posts will be funny, sometimes God-centered, sometimes informative, and sometimes just an outlet for my emotions. If you're like me and constantly in search of entertainment, then hopefully this will be a place you'll check to get some of that fix. 

I also realize that any time you spend here, whether hours or just a second, has changed you. I pray that no matter what I post, it's always for the better.
Oooh, weren't expecting me to get all deep on the first post, did you? Well... did it work? Have I succinctly conveyed who I am while convincing you that I'm witty, somewhat insightful, and worth listening to? ...Well?